I know my English is not very good at all but just bear with it. What do you mean? You don't live always You are limited There is a finishing line. But after the line, is the beginning.
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I know my English is not very good at all but just bear with it. What do you mean? You don't live always You are limited There is a finishing line. But after the line, is the beginning. It takes 10 signatures. Yet the normality we can't accept. We often say to ourselves, "I want a normal life" but a lot of us doesn't even know what normal means in life. We're all abn ormal in our way of thinking. I am abnormal. I turn my head to his direction and give him a defeated.
What's the point of telling someone everything's gonna be alright if it's not, right? He comforts me honestly. The truth hurts bu t the lies are worse. But our Father is. I know who he is talking about. We're Catholics but the thing is, I am not such a good Catholic. I don't go to S unday mass neither do I pray or genuflect when I passby the church. I don't have the Catholic attitude but I do believe th at there is someone up there that owns us, my parents told me that when I was little.
We call him God. Dying is normal. He even said it abruptly. I raise my feet and place it on the bench were we are sitting, I hug it tightly laying my head on my knees, without looking at him I said, "Are you telling me that I should accept everything?
That I'm rea lly dying? I put down my feet then face my boyfriend and hug him tightly. I've decided something What are you planning, baby? After the scene on the be nch, he brought me to the nearest church and pleaded a priest to baptize me again while I was still crying.
Though we did not ask the legal papers to be changed, with the baptism I already feel like new to the world. There's no need for a present, you're more than enough. Fortunately the cake was placed in the small table before we fell so it was safe from being ruined. He pulls away some strands of hair that was messily placed on my face and he pla ces it on the back of my ear, "What did you wish for?
What list? He was talking ab out something about the life in heaven or We are promised to be filled with joys in Heaven and to fulfill that, we have to leave our memories here on Earth which are full of sufferings and sadness. The h appy memories aren't even an exception, when you die you leave everything behind. I can hear the ticking of his wall clock. Tick, tick, tick. It has the same rhyt hm with my heartbeat.
I'll bargain 10 important people wit h God. Bargaining with God? What are you saying, I don't ge t you. When I have finished writ ing the last name, I raise the paper and look at it for a minute and I let off a determined and hopeful smile. I place the paper on the table and I stand up from my seat as I take out my phon e from my pocket and started searching a name in my phonebook.
When I've found it, I click the call button and it feels like my heartbeat is louder than the phone's rings. Ring, ring, ring Someone picks it up after 5 or 6 rings.
It has been a long time. I wonder if thi s person still remembers me My outfit clearly says that I'm going out. It's only 7 o'clock in the evening. It's already late. Change your clothes. You usually allow me to go outside at this ho even late! I do n't know if she's crying, I can't see her face neither her tears.
I try to turn her to face me and my thought is confirmed, my mom is crying again. No, not again but always. My mom is always crying since she knew about my sickne ss and due date.
Why does the thought of dying makes a person cry? I want to know, what is the saddest thing a bout death? What is there to cry about death? What is? I embrace my mother and whisper to her ear, "I don't understand the situation an d I'm not trying to understand it anymore. It might sound that I'm weary of all of these and I'm like giving up bu t I'll tell you the truth mom, I'm not dying. The doctor just said I will die but I'm not dying, mom.
Please do remember that. I don't understand. You're confusing me! Stop usin g unfathomable phrases! After that, you didn't ask me anything anymore. If you'll ask me the sa me question again, I'll tell you a different answer. Ask me what happened to me and my bes tfriend back then. Why didn't I see you guys hanging out anymore?
My words are nothing but guilt and regret. I want to understand why I did such things so please, let me go. Please, mom. I place my hands inside my jacket's pocket as I walk to the park. I look up the sky, it's a full moon with lots of stars around it. The wind is blowing hard , I'm glad I had my hair tied upwards because if no t, the wind will just undo my hair and it'll be really annoying. It's so quiet and calm here in the park only the rustling of the leaves can be heard, there is no one here.
At a time like this, people are usually in their houses eating dinner or d oing their assigned works, or maybe others are having a party.
Who knows. I've decided to settle myself in one of the benches here, I start playing with m y fingers as I wait for her. Your voice never changed. Who are you? I was a friend. Don't you recognize my voice? Is it you It's me, your former bestfriend. I don't remember having a bestfriend. Then, can we get to know each other and become bestfriends?
I'll meet you at the park tomorrow at 8pm. I would really want to be friends with you. When I called her and she recognized that it was me on the other line, her sweet voice changed in a sour one. I can't blame her, even if it has already been 8years, the wound I gave her will always remain a wound. I left a scar in her heart, I don't know how to remove it. I asked her to meet me here and I'm not really su re if she'll come but I do hope she will because I'm here to ask forgiveness.
I know my English is not very good at all but just bear with it. What do you mean? I'll collect 10 signatures and pass the contract to God when I meet Him. You can't stay forever You don't live always You are limited There is a finishing line.
10 Signatures to Bargain with God